Colbert doesn't pull any punches...

Even if you're not a big Colbert fan... you have to watch this. I like the Daily Show, but haven't watched Colbert's show much. That's going to change...

Stephen Colbert was one of the comedians signed up to provide the entertainment at the White House Correspondents ' Association Dinner. I'm not sure who decides who gets the invites to these dinners, but everyone was there. And Colbert, standing about ten feet from W and Laura, made his typical straight-faced-style of jokes about everything.. I mean everything.. from Karl Rove, to Valerie Plame, to the retired-generals-calling-for-Rumsfeld-to-step-down thing. It's one thing to hear these jokes occasionally on his show, but this was basically a "best of", spinning through half the scandals of the last few years, while the President was sitting right there. I mean, I find the stuff hilarious, but it even made me distinctly uncomfortable, particularly when Colbert talks directly to W during the show. I'm guessing a lot of people felt that way, because there was a distinct lack of laughter (shocked silence?) after a number of key jokes.

An interesting thing to note is the camera shots. Usually, while Colbert is
making a joke at someone's expense, the camera will jump to them for a few seconds, show a reaction (which in a many cases seemed more like a grimace than a smile), then pop back to Colbert. However, even when Colbert was talking directly to him, the camera never jumped to Bush. I'm guessing either his reactions weren't very favorable, or he had some sort of contract worked out beforehand that they wouldn't show his reactions to things. In any case, I think it's pretty lame, but typical of this administration's press control.

Here are links to the video on YouTube. You can probably google a link to a downloadable version somewhere if you prefer...

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Amature Mechanic Hour

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my bus? For anyone who doesn't know, I own a '76, caution-sign-yellow VW Bus. Let me see if I can dig up a picture...



Here's Whirligig at Mason Lake (Cyn's Parents' property) in camper mode... note the playa dust still covering the pop-top canvas.

At any rate, I'm driving home from work yesterday, tooling down TV Highway (Tualatin Valley, not Television), I go to accelerate, and *bam*, the gas pedal just drops to the floor. "Crap!"... think fast... throttle cable must've broken. I had enough speed to coast a bit, so I turned left onto a side road and pulled over.

I knew I had a spare throttle cable under the back seat that had come with the bus. I popped the engine cover, found the throttle, and there's this little metal bar sticking off it... "hmm.. that looks like it could be a cable end." Looked around until I saw the end of the cable sticking out of its little tube. Crawled under the front, popped off the metal plate that covers the underside of the pedals. Yep, the cable is loose, so I pulled it out of the tube that runs to the back, and threaded the new one in. There's a point where a metal tube meets a rubber tube where it popped out and I had to crawl under the back and re-thread it, but in the end, after about 45 minutes, I attached the cable end to the throttle, fired up the bus, and drove on home.

One of the main things I love about this car is that everything is mechanical. No electronic throttle, anti-lock brakes, assisted steering, none of that. There is literally a cable running from my gas pedal that goes under the bus and attaches to the throttle on top of the engine. S imple and uncomplicated. The engine doesn't even use water - it's basically a glorified lawn mower engine. If you have the part, the tools, and maybe a book or two, you can pretty much fix everything yourself. I love German engineering, the thing is literally made to be taken apart and put back together with simple tools.

I've been driving her for five years, and this is the first time she's broken down on me on the road. She even made it to the middle of the Nevada desert and back with nothing more than a flaky blinker.

Plus, I love her 'cause she's bright freakin' orange, and really obnoxious. I love parking her next to the Mercedes, Corvettes, and other high-end cars at work. I've seen a Delorian pulling in and out a couple times.. if I can manage to park next to that I'm gonna take a picture.

Oh, and btw, I finally completed my "probationary period" at work, so I guess I'm an official employee now. It's weird working for a company that's not a startup, and most likely won't go under anytime soon. This is the first time I've had actual vacation time I could count on, and it's strange to be able to plan a "career", and think more than about three months ahead. It's all weird, and I feel really lucky to be there. I almost feel like a responsible adult... don't tell anyone though.

JPEN

I try really hard not to be a "conspiracy nut". I realize that the human brain is a pattern-matching machine, and often finds connections where none exist. Thus, I'm always willing to look at all sides of an issue, and I'm always skeptical of conclusions until I have sound evidence. It is also easy to freak out about technological implications that aren't very well understood, and you end up with things like the Y2K "scare".

However, I also believe that the most heinous acts are often carried out (or at least begun) with the best intentions, and that's why we have a complex system of checks and balances in this country. Furthermore, I believe that it is probable that there are people in high positions of power in this country that may not only have the best interests of the American people at heart. A lot of other people believe this too, which is why we have laws for such concepts as the separation of church and state, Miranda rights, and the right of American citizens to be safe and secure in their persons.

That's why this blog article has me so freaked out. It's long, and dry, and technical, which is why topics like this are often overlooked by traditional media. But not only is it completely possible, it is almost inevitable that a database such as this will exist. Following closely, it is almost inevitable that these capabilities will be abused. I highly suggest you read the whole article, follow the links, and research for yourself, but I'll try to summarize anyhow:

The Department of Defense started off by creating a database which DOD employees and military personell (such as those guarding military bases) can use to record any suspicious information or event, verified or not (note that this is usually referred to as gossip). The software interface to this database is called JPEN (Joint Protection Enterprise Network).

This is much like the way that the Google search engine is the simple interface to the giant database where they store all the harvested web pages. JPEN is supposed to allow agents or MPs to quickly share information, such as sightings of suspicious vehicles, that may not spread fast enough to be acted upon by agents at another bases, or otherwise might just get filed away. This was the good intention.

However, this database has become too tempting not to share, and now just about every military or intelligence agency is in on the action. This is just asking for serious abuse.

JPEN is run by NORTHCOM, the DoD division responsible for handling the domestic affairs of the military, meaning this has nothing to do with Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. Incidentally, NORTHCOM is also the division in charge of enforcing martial law in this country, should it ever be declared.

From the Washington Post:
Northcom centers conduct data mining, where information received from the NSA, the CIA, the FBI, state and local police, and the Pentagon's Talon system are cross-checked to see if patterns develop that could indicate terrorist activities. Information from these reports is fed into a database known as the Joint Protection Enterprise Network (JPEN), which is managed, as is the Talon system, by the Counterintelligence Field Activity, the newest Defense Department intelligence agency to focus primarily on counterterrorism. The database is shared with intelligence and law enforcement agencies and was found last month to have contained information about peace activists and others protesting the Iraq war that appeared to have no bearing on terrorism.

So, let's summarize a bit:
The illegal NSA wiretap of that call to your friend in Germany? In there.
That last ticket you got for speeding? In there.
The fact that your car was parked near the last WTO protest in Seattle? In there.
Your current credit scores? In there.
That time you checked out the Anarchist's Cookbook from the library? In there.

Keep in mind that, under the Patriot act, the FBI can basically request information on you from any organization, and forbid them from telling you that the request was made.

Furthermore, keep in mind that the U.S. Military can now arrest you, label you an "enemy combatant", keep you indefinitely without access to a lawyer, then hand you off to a civilian court if/whenever they see fit.

Perhaps you can begin to see a little of why I'm concerned. It is a known fact that this database exists. It is not a stretch of any sort to believe that various and sundry (possibly unverified or incorrect) details about your life will make it into this database. I also don't consider it much of a stretch to believe that people in power in this country may use this database to keep close tabs on activists, political opponents, or anyone that stirs up trouble.

Perhaps this helps explain why the author of Bush's Brain is now on the No-Fly list. What database do you suppose the No-Fly list software queries when you check in?

Sigh. Enough for now, it's late and I'm tired. I'll update as I find more info...

Links at 1 a.m.

Nothing like staying up til 1 a.m. painting the living room. In my current cracked-out state of mind, I thought I'd share a few tidbits I ran across today...

Studio Confirms Tekken, Castlevania, Pac-Man Details
My favorite bit of this article... "Tekken and Castlevania are both names familiar to millions of videogamers around the world, and Hollywood is far from exhausting the pool of potential that exists in console games, despite numerous flops at the box office."
Listen. If you're seriously considering making movies based on Tekken and Castlevania, I'm sorry, but the "pool of potential" is a pool of dust. Give up now, please, before you ruin any more fond memories of my childhood.

An awesome article on the Team that won the DARPA Grand Challenge by creating a car that could drive itself successfully across 300 miles of desert. And they make it sound so simple...

I'll give that it's a cool gimmick. Nissan has a concept car with a built-in XBox 360, that allows the driver to use the controls (while in park, thank you), to play games like Project Gotham Racing 3. If it wasn't for this gimmick, I never would've noticed that Nissan had a concept car, so I guess it's served it's purpose. Doubly so, in that now you know about it too. The first time I see someone sitting in a parking spot downtown acting like they're racing in the Grand Prix though, I'll think they're a fruitcake, just like if I saw someone downtown talking into thin air... hmm... wait a second.

On September 26, 1983, we almost died. A little blurb on Dkos that brought to my attention Stanislav Petrov, a Soviet Commander who deliberately disobeyed orders in 1983, thus saving the lives of pretty much everyone on the planet. What's more, he wasn't supposed to be on duty that night. Don't let anyone tell you that software bugs aren't dangerous...

'nuff said, goodnight...

Adventures while driving...

Was a heck of a ride home from Mattbear's (and Jenbear's) awesome Christmas Party. Was a clear dry night when we left. After about an hour on the road my mom calls:

Her: "How is the weather there?"
Me: "uh, fine. Why?"
Her: "There's been snow & Freezing rain in Portland all day. The roads are all icy, and traffic is backed up because of accidents everywhere."

Great.

So we get a ways south of Centrailia, and there starts being slush & ice on the road. There's a truck a ways ahead of me, and someone ahead of him. Suddenly the truck spins over to the right, then spins back to the left. I get busy trying to stop, and look up just in time to see him in the ditch rolling over as I pass. I stopped on the side of the road, waking Cynthia up with a "Call 911!", jump out of the car, and run over through the snow.

I was fully expecting to see someone in that car seriously injured or dead. The truck had finish ed up upright, and just as I ran up, the driver's door opened, and someone surprised me by stepping out. Asian guy, looked about my age. "Are you all right?!" "I'm alright", he said, looking around as if to make sure. The dome light was on, and there was a passenger, and two women in the back. I kept looking around for blood or injury, but eventually all of them got out of the car and seemed fine, although the women seemed in a bit of shock. One immediately got on her cell phone. None of them spoke very good english. The back of the truck was sitting on top of that steel-cable fence that runs down the middle of the divider ditch, and the rear window was broken, but that seemed to be the worst of it. Amazing, since they were probably doing 60 when they went off the road.

At some point the guy who had been in the car ahead of them came up, and one of the guys told him there was a Consul car coming to get them, so they must have been foreign diplomats or something, although they were driving an older model Isuzu Trooper. Since everyone seemed okay, the other guy was there, and 911 had been called, there wasn't much for me to do, so I left. Had to sit behind the wheel for about five minutes before I trusted myself to drive off though.. too much adrenalin.

Finally hit Portland about midnight, and all the freeways were big sheets of ice. Traffic was backed up for an accident right as we were crossing the I-405 bridge, so we got to sit on the bridge for an hour while they cleared that and sanded the road.

So anyway, I feel lucky that we made it home alright, and nobody skidded into our shiny new car. :)

Take care driving this holiday season... nothing like a car accident to muck up your Christmas.

You are not the car you drive.

There's a Doonesbury comic out there somewhere. In it, Mike is talking to his teenaged daughter Alex about being wealthy, since they recently made a lot of money running a dot-com, and bought an SUV. Alex accuses him of being a sell-out, to which Mike replies "I didn't sell out, I bought in!".

If I could find a copy of this particular strip, I'd get it framed and put it on my wall. It's become my motto in life. When I first saw the strip in college, I identified more with Alex. Now, a number of years and a couple of kids later... well, I'll just say that I can see where Mike is coming from.

I only bring this up now because I'm now the proud owner of a Honda Odyssey. Yep, you got it. It's minivan time. And to tell the truth, even though the last vestiges of my youthful idealism are slinking away in shame, I'm not really all that sad about it.

There are certain realities that become extant when you have two kids. A lot of them revolve around getting everyone in and out of cars and hauling around lots of stuff. Strollers, wagons, bags, toys, car seats, kids, groceries, you get the idea. And all of Cynthia's business stuff on top of that... So, for some reason, some company decided to make a vehicle that makes all this crap easier. Lots of room, seats that fold into the floor, doors that open and shut for you, a DVD player, wireless *freakin* headphones... crap, I'm a yuppie. Wait a sec, lemme go look in the mirror... yeah, damnit. There's really no way around it. I worry about airbags for chrissake.

So Honda made this thing, and, well, I'm nothing if not practical. It's a nice piece of engineering, even if a sportscar it ain't. They didn't quite think of everything, but pretty damn close. To plagiarize from Real Life, it's like Honda is personally apologizing for emasculating me.

What the hell, with two kids you can justify anything.

But just in case, I still have my bus.

Long time no see...

I guess it seems fitting to switch to a new site when I write my first post in like 9 months. At any rate, I'm going to give Blogspot a shot, see how I like it. If not, I'll be back to LJ. But Blogspot looks cool, is much more customizeable than LJ, at least unless you want to fork out some cash. And hey, all my friends are doing it. Yes, I would jump off the bridge. I'm a sheep. Baaa.

Let's see, a quick summary of my life for the last nine months: About eight months ago I sold my house, bought a new house, moved to Portland, started a new job, and had a baby. That whole process took about two months, and we've pretty much been recovering ever since.

Now, the rest of that has definitely caused much chaos in my life, but those last three words are the most important: had a baby. Technically I didn't actually give birth, but you get the idea. At any rate, Cedar Elijah Lucas was born at home (our new home) on May 28, 2005. He's six months old now (man the time flies), and is truly the happiest damn baby I've ever met. He's rolling himself around on the floor, which means he'll be crawling in no time, and is currently chattering away to himself. His sister (who is 3 1/2 now), loves him dearly, although that might well change when he gets old enough to mess with her stuff. :)

I look at the pictures, and can't really believe it's my life. I mean, it's so domestic. But I tell you what, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I feel extremely lucky, and thankful every day. Sometimes life gets really hectic and I forget, but really it's your family and friends that are important, having people around that love you and care about you. The rest is just details.

Portland's pretty cool (actually we live in Beaverton, which is basically the Bellevue of Portland), although we don't really know anyone here. We've met a few people through my work, and through Sage's preschool, but haven't really clicked with anyone. I hope that'll change a bit when Cedar's done breastfeeding and we can get a babysitter and go out to places that aren't necessarily child friendly. In the meantime, we'll just have to make a lot of trips up to Seattle.

Guess that's all for now, short and sweet. Next time I'll rant about something witty and insightful, I promise.